Dishboy victimized by diner politics

By Collin Braley 2005

Hi, everyone. I’m back in my hole again, of course. Still trying to get caught up from the never-ending pile of dishes that I am assigned to work on all night. Of course, the busy crowds in the afternoon prevented the other cooks to lend me a helping hand, but it’s OK.

I’m glad my schedule tells me to come in at six. right when it’s busiest. It gives me a good chance to get caught up if more and more tubs of dishes are filled right when I have the most dishes.

If you want silverware, you’ll have to wait. Three people asked already, and I have to spit it between them because if I don’t give them a little bit of silverware each, then I’ll get negative looks and bad attitudes pointed toward me all night long. I’m running the silverware through again. Sorry, but it’s the code. And since I have to do this, I can’t take the clean cups to your side just yet.

What’s that, hostess? Are you complaining again about how hard your job is? Well, I’m sorry, but you have got to be kidding me. I have a job for you that contains nonstop work from right when you get here, until close. It’s dishwashing. The host or hostess will get cut early when customers stop showing up, but when customers stop showing up for the dishers, other workers act like they do some “cleaning” around the restaurant. You know, the “cleaning” where they take something to me and have me scrub it, wash it and run it through. I’ve seen it a million times. I now your strategy of placing people at table is difficult to the extreme, so I won’t question your job description or work ethic.

Hey boss, I know minimum wage is cool and all, but don’t you think it’s a little harsh since a cook who dishwashed once told you he’d quit if he ever had to do that again? Something tells me that dishing isn’t a happy job, so I’ll take that $2 raise whenever you’re ready.

If anyone needs me or want to pull a new prank on me, I’ll be back in the dishroom on my own, washing with rage against the dishwashing machine.

Note: Collin has broken free from his oppressive job and moved on to bigger and better things.