With weather this cold, only the mongeese are smiling

By Nick Armile 2003

So, it’s January and the weather has hit us hard. The biting cold wind literally freezes the tears that it makes us cry. Good thing we can get out of the cold and into … more cold? That’s right, folks: it is a chilly day in and out of school. Enough so that the student body looks more like pals of Eskimo Bob than ever before.

It’s no longer odd to see a student wrapped up in layers of clothing. If we were mongeese, the cold indoors wouldn’t be a problem, but we are not as well equipped as they. No, we must use cotton and denim as our fur coats.

Rumors of two-hour delays and early releases roam the hallway, however, these rumors do no good and are in fact, just rumors.

So this is the situation: it’s cold outside, it’s cold inside, we are cold. We are not kiwi fruit, and we are not mongeese. Except me. Don’t ask.

“What are we going to do?” I’m not sure. We could do the Safety Dance; that would warm us up quite a bit, or we could quite possible light our pants on fire, but that might be painful. Mighty painful. But don’t take my word for it.

If we want to warm ourselves up, all we need to do is think warm thoughts. Like not school, for instance. Man, it’s cold in school. It is so cold my left foot has fallen off. Great, now there goes my right one. How am I supposed to walk now?

In conclusion, it is cold in, out and around the school building here at Cedar Falls High School. Before you show up to school, dress in all the clothes you can fit on your body at once, get here early so you don’t need to walk so far when you park your car or … hop on the bus and get a ride to the front door.

But, in the end, it would not be a problem if everyone was a mongoose.